Delicious Pear Pie

Grandpa Wilbur is assumin’ that ya’ know how to make up pie crust dough or ya’ went n’ bought some a that ready-made pie crust. They’re usually alongside of them other fake-to-bake cookies an’ biscuits in the dairy section of the supercenter.

The first thing that ye’re gonna’ wanna’ do is get some heat a goin’ fer bakin’ yer pie. Yer gonna’ want yer oven het up to about Three Mississippi ( 450 F).

Next, measure out these ingredients:
½ cup sugar (substitute sucralose if ye’re diabetic ‘er tryin’ to stave off diabetes)
3 tbsp flour
1tsp ground cinnamon
1 tbsp fresh lemon zest
¼ tsp salt (if ya’ ain’t got high blood pressure already)

Mix them ingredients in a bowl. Be careful that ya’ ain’t got no lumps on account of the flour an’ sugar a stickin’ ta the lemon zest.
Set yer mix aside an’ put yer pie pastry inta yer pie pan.

*** Tip from Grandpa Wilbur ***
Some folks like to flour coat the bottom of the pie pan to help prevent the crust from sticking to the pan. Grandpa adds one step to that. Put one quick shot of cookin’ spray on yer pan and wipe it all around the inside with a paper towel so there’s just a very thin film of oil on yer pan. Then flour coat yer pan and it will work a lot better, especially if ya’ use glass pans.

Core, peel an’ slice up 5-6 pears.
Put yer sliced up pears inta yer pie pastry that ya’ have in yer pie pan. Sprinkle yer mix on yer fruit as ya’ layer it inta yer pan. Sprinkle any remaining mix on top of yer fruit.

Cover yer pie with yer top pastry and seal the edges of yer bottom and top pastries with some milk or water an’ thumb-crimp together.

*** Very Important ***
Don’t forget to vent yer top pie crust. Ya’ can cut an eight point “X” inta it as shown in the pitcher or ya’ can cut some of them little dainty decorative vents symmetrically around the top of yer pie. This very important! If you don’t vent yer top crust it could blow up like the boiler on a riverboat racing with the safeties tied shut.
Grandpa has memory of a story told by a sweetheart who forgot to vent the first pie that she ever baked for her an’ newly wedded husband. The hubby came home to the delicious aroma of hot apple pie in the oven.
When the sweetheart took the pie out of the oven an’ set it down, the top blew off of it. Her husband still had fresh hot pie but he had to go to the garage an’ get a step ladder so that he could eat it off of the ceiling.

Anyway when yer oven is het up to Three Mississippi and ya’ have yer pie crust vented ya’ need ta’ bake yer pie fer about ten minutes.

Next, cut yer heat to Five Mississppi (350 F) an’ bake yer pie fer ‘nother 35-40 minutes. Yer crust will be golden brown an’ yer pie’ll smell like ya’ cain’t wait ta eat it.

Set yer hot an’ delicious smellin’ pie on a coolin’ rack fer at least an hour. Two hours is better if ya’ can stand ta wait that long.

Ya’ can tell from the pitcher that Grandpa Wilbur and the missus didn’t waste no time cuttin’ inta this‘un.